Pastor Says Masturbating Without Your Wife Present Is Bordering on Homosexual Activity

Excerpted from the bad pastor’s booklet Porn-Again Christian: A Frank Discussion on Pornography & Masturbation for God’s Men, via Slog:

First, masturbation can be a form of homosexuality because it is a sexual act that does not involve a woman. If a man were to masturbate while engaged in other forms of sexual intimacy with his wife then he would not be doing so in a homosexual way. However, any man who does so without his wife in the room is bordering on homosexuality activity, particularly if he’s watching himself in a mirror and being turned on by his own male body.

You really can’t make this stuff up.